More Byzantine Priest Hijinks

MAY 22--Meet Robert Yarnovitz. The 74-year-old is a Byzantine Church monsignor, but you would never have known that based on his behavior during a church conference this month at an Ohio resort. Seems that the plastered cleric--wearing only a button-down shirt and a single sock--pulled a hotel fire alarm and began groping the privates of resort workers and cops responding to the commotion. Oh, yes, the priest was also yelling "suck my cock" to anyone who would listen, according to the below Erie County Sheriff's report. Yarnovitz, who has pleaded no contest to misdemeanor indecency and sexual imposition charges, faces up to 90 days in jail and a $5,000 fine for his outburst, which a church spokesman claimed, "was not characteristic of monsignor." (3 pages)

DRUNK II: This nitwit driver was dressed to kill.

DRUNK III: NFL star nabbed for DUI, gun rap.